Of Blood and Angels
by affirmedreality
Summary: Kikyo has lost her memories and is now living with Lord Sesshomaru in some random castle. But then Inuyasha comes to get her. Will Kikyo remember her past? A randomish songfic with Missing by Evanescence... actually has a plot too!
1. Chapter 1

Yay! It's a songfic!! anyway:

**I don't own any of the Inuyasha charachers or missing by Evanescence**

It's only part of the song. The story took too much room and besides, i got tired of writing. I'll update it in about a day or so...

Stupid songfics...

* * *

I stared out the frost-tainted window, my long raven hair pulled back into a loose ponytail behind her. The world was spread out before me, the snowy white hilltops flaked with the stems of long dead trees. I could almost hear them calling to me, the wind rustling between their limp branches as they cried softly. I could feel a tear running down my pale cheek and I hurriedly wiped it away. I had no reason to cry. After all I was happy… 

** Please, Please, forgive me**

** But I won't be home again…**

As I looked outside, I could see a man walking up the path, holding hands with a young girl. As I watched, they smiled lovingly at each other. Who were they? They seemed so familiar. As I glanced at him, I realized his hair was a deep black, the same as mine. Who was he? I shook my head. I couldn't remember. It was so long ago…

** Maybe someday you'll look up**

** And barely conscious you'll say to no one**

_What's wrong with me?_ I rubbed my head tiredly, _I can't remember him!_ My features twisted in frustration but quickly relaxed as I heard the door open. I got up and embraced the man that came in, giving him a light kiss on the cheek. Somehow, it didn't feel right, but I didn't say anything.

"Good evening, Lord Sesshomaru," I greeted him warmly, motioning him to sit down beside me, "How was your day?"

He smiled at me and murmured, "I spent every free moment thinking of you, Kikyo darling."

** ISN'T SOMEONE MISSING ME?**

I smiled at the compliment, though my heart clenched tightly, why I didn't know. After all, I loved him.

_Have you forgotten Inuyasha?_ A small voice whispered in my head. I looked around, confusion shown clearly in my face. The name sounded so familiar… where had I heard it before?

Lord Sesshomaru looked worriedly down at me. "What's wrong, love?" he asked, his face mirrored with concern, "do you have a headache?"

He reached over for a bottle that sat on the table. "Would you like some wine?" he asked, pouring me a glass of the red liquid.

I accepted it gratefully, taking a long sip. There was no taste to the drink, but I didn't object. It made me feel better. At least I didn't think of that name anymore.

** You won't cry for my absence I know**

** You forgot me long ago…**

As I drank the red wine, I heard a knock on the door. I blinked confusedly. My Lord Sesshomaru never did have visitors.

"Who is it?" I whispered, "Would you like me to answer the door?"

My Lord shook his head, glancing out at the dimly lit hallway with worry. "No dearest Kikyo," he whispered lovingly into my ear, "I'll deal with this myself."

Then he walked outside, and, as I hear the door click shut behind him, I realized that I was, yet again, alone.

** Am I that unimportant?**

** Am I so insignificant?**

I heard the knocking stop as the big oaken door creaked open. I could make out angry voices outside, but I couldn't understand what they said. Besides, I felt woozy. All I wanted was to go to sleep. _What's wrong with me?_ I wondered, _Why do I always feel so tired?_

The voices were growing louder in voice. I strained to hear them, but couldn't focus. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?

**Isn't something missing? **

**Isn't someone missing me?**

* * *

do you guys like it? I think there's a plot line to this one... cough cough 

Anyway there are no definite pairings in this one... haven't decided who Kikyo will end up with... Maybe Naraku will even randomishly show up or something...

I can tell you that Inuyasha and kagome (gag) are definitely going to be in the story though... if that helps. Anyway, thanks if you comment!!!

(0.0)

(UU)

evil bunny attack

heh... his ears are gone... heh


	2. Chapter 2

I walked quietly to the door and, setting my wine cup on the floor beside me, rested my head down on the floor, allowing my hair to cascade onto the cold marble ground. The coldness was refreshing and cleared my head enough to understand what my Lord Sesshomaru and his visitor said.

It sounded as if they were arguing. "She's mine, Sesshomaru," a rich, deep voice said, "Give her back."

I rubbed my temples tiredly. His voice was so familiar, like I had heard it before...

**Even though I'm the sacrifice**

**You won't try for me not now**

_A soft breeze was blowing, ruffling the leaves on the huge oak tree that stood alone in the seemingly never-ending meadow. A girl with raven black hair looked up, her eyes twinkling. As she watched, the branches in the tree shifted ever so slightly, as if taunting her. The girl sighed, stringing her bow and pointing it at the tree._

_"I know you're there," The girl that was me called, "Now show yourself, boy, or I'm going to have to shoot." She, no I, pointed my weapon menacingly and watched as a teenage boy slipped from the topmost branch on which he was crouching. _

_"Hello Kikyo," he said and I could hear his name clearly in my head. Inuyasha._

_My face twisted into a smile and I could feel my heart beat a little bit faster, though I didn't know why. After all, I didn't even know him. But the girl in my memories did. "Hello," I answered, barely suppressing a laugh as I noted the loose twigs scattered in the boy's snowy white hair and protruding out of his clothes, "Were you following me?"_

_Inuyasha's ears twitched sheepishly, "Of course not," he said in an angry voice, making me smile. _

_"I love you, Inuyasha," I murmured, stroking his velvety ear tenderly, "Do you love me too?"_

_The young man blushed. He fiddled his fingers nervously. I waited, unaware that I was holding my breath. I knew that this was the moment that decided everything, though I wasn't exactly sure what everything was._

_"So do you?" the girl that was me persisted._

_The boy shrugged helplessly. "I don't know, okay?" he said, his voice with a trace of annoyance and also a trace of fear, "I'm not ready to say that word yet."_

_And then he walked away, the sun streaming onto his red clothing, illuminating it seconds before he disappeared over the horizon._

**Though I'd die to know you loved me**

**I'm all alone**

**Isn't someone missing me?**

I shook my head. _Where had that come from?_, I wondered as I resumed my eavesdropping, _I haven't even HEARD of anyone named Inuyasha, let alone... loved him. _

I shook my head in a hopeless attempt to clear my head. It was the wine, I decided, that was what was making me so lightheaded. But what if this Inuyasha person was real...

I sighed. I'll ask my Lord Sesshomaru, I decided, that was better than wondering forever.

**Please please forgive me **

**But I won't be home again **

The door was unlocked and I slipped out quietly, my heart pounding with excitement and fear. I didn't recall being outside before. I never needed to and besides, Lord Sesshomaru probably wouldn't allow it. He was very possessive. The ground outside was littered with cold white flakes of perfection and I shivered with delight. This feeling was new and I didn't recall feeling this... numbness before.

I traced my path carefully among the white powder, trying my best not to disturb the freshly laid snow. I spotted them at once. They were hidden, just visible, behind the statue of a demon, one that I reasoned must have been my Lord's father.

"You're the one who left her when you thought she was dead." Sesshomaru was saying in a calm voice, "You don't deserve her."

"You can't blame me, _brother_. I had to see if the others were fine too! And in that time you stole her away from me!" I looked at the teenager challenging Sesshomaru curiously. His hair was white, so white that I couldn't see the flakes of snow that dotted his hair. His bangs covered his eyes and I couldn't make out their color, but from the rest of his face I could tell they were glinting in anger. He was wearing a red outfit that covered his whole body, but underneath I could see his firm muscles.

"If you don't hand her over I... I'll..." The boy was turning red.

"You'll do what?" I admired my lord for his cold calm manner. He was clearly the superior one.

The boy pulled a sword out of his clothes. I looked at it, scoffing and the battered shape the stick was in. I glanced at my Lord's face, expecting to see the familiar smirk that always seem to linger on his features, but what I observed disturbed me. My Lord Sesshomaru had a worried look on his face, as if that ugly, bent sword trumped the new, jewel-laden one he owned. I began to grow worried.

**I know what you do to yourself **

**I breathe deep and cry out **

"Lord Sesshomaru?" I called out softly, barely above a whisper, but they both heard me and stopped, glancing my way, the boy in a hopeful manner, my Lord in an almost angry one.

"Kikyo?" The boy called in an uncertain manner.

"Yes, I'm called Kikyo," I replied guardedly, "Who are you?"

"I'm Inuyasha." The boy looked almost bewildered, "How can you not remember me?"

There it was - that name again. And he looked so familiar... I could have sworn we had met before... But I couldn't remember.

**Isn't something missing? **

**Isn't someone missing me? **


	3. Chapter 3

Me: What are friends good for? 

Shippo: Um... lets see... you can talk to them, hang out with them, tell them secrets... Now you try!

Me: Yes, um... You can bully them, laugh at them, and... EAT THEM!!!!!

Shippo: ...

Me: Shippo, want to be my FRIEND!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ... Hey why are you running from me?

... Yesh that was really random. Anyway, I don't own any of the Inuyasha character and I don't own missing by Evanescence (though i wish I did) I also don't own YOU!

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"My Lord," I turned to Lord Sesshomaru cautiously, "Do I know this man?" 

"No," he glared at the boy, Inuyasha, with hatred I had never witnessed in him before, "Now could you please go back to your room? I can deal with this myself"

Perhaps it was the tone he used with me, or perhaps it was simply because I was tired of being his puppet, but for once I ignored my Lord's commands. I could feel his angry gaze penetrating through my back as I shook my head and turned to Inuyasha.

"What do you mean, 'how can you not remember me?' I have never seen you before." This was a lie, I realized as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I **had** seen him before. I had known him well, better than I knew even my Lord Sesshomaru.

"I don't understand, Kikyo," Inuyasha looked at me desperately, "You loved me, remember? You wanted me to be with you forever!" And, as I shook my head, he turned to my Lord, "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?"

**Even though I'm the sacrifice**

**You won't try for me not now**

"Nothing," my Lord replied, his voice void of any emotion, "She just chooses not to remember you. She hates you and loves me, so get out of here and leave us alone."

"I won't believe it!" Inuyasha's eyes were glowing, "Tell me it's not true, Kikyo dearest! I love you more than anyone else, even more than that traitorous brother of mine!"

They both looked at me expectantly and I was torn between my loyalty to my Lord and the new memories that had surfaced, the ones that claimed that Inuyasha was, indeed, once my lover.

"I don't know," I whispered, an answer that satisfied neither of them, but I couldn't help it. It was the best I could give.

**Though I'd die to know you loved me**

**I'm all alone**

**Isn't someone missing me?  
**

They both turned from me in unison, their angry faces making them look all the more frightening.

"This is my last warning," Inuyasha hissed, his eyes glowing red, "If you don't let her go I'll..."

"You'll do what?" my Lord snarled, "Half demon!"

"NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN!!" The boy's sword was growing now and my Lord flinched, his eyes showing a hint of... fear? I shuddered. My Lord was never afraid; worried yes, tired yes, but fear, never... or was this just a new side of him that I was seeing, one he had never shown me before? I backed away, hiding behind the statue of my Lord's father. There was so much about Lord Sesshomaru that I didn't know. He never even mentioned that he had a brother.

I turned my back to the fight that was brewing behind me and gazed up into the heaven's above. The snow was drifting slowly to the ground, like angels were falling, dancing gracefully to the ground. There was another night like this, so long ago...

_"Kagome!" Inuyasha called, his hair making him blend in with the snow covered hills, "Kagome, where are you!"_

_The girl that was me gazed at him longingly and I could feel her - my - heart ache with longing. He looked so beautiful that I didn't want to let him go, but I had to._

_"Go ahead, Inuyasha," I called softly to him, "Go and find her, after all, I know she's your one and only love."_

_Inuyasha completely missed the bitterness hidden in my softly spoken words. "Thanks Kikyo," he called, freed of the burden, me, that he had to protect, "I'll come back as soon as I can, I promise!"_

_I looked after him as he ran over the hills, knowing with almost absolute certainty that he wouldn't come back after he found her. He loved her more than me and we both knew that..._

**And if I bleed, I'll bleed**

**Knowing you don't care**

_  
"Alone, Kikyo?" His voice traveled to me as I sat under the tree, my head cradled in my arms. I looked up slowly, trying to hide the tears on my face._

_"Naraku?" I was too tired to get up and check, but I had heard his voice too often to doubt to was him._

_"Inuyasha has left you alone, I see." His shadow fell over me and I saw his eyes glinting maliciously. "I suppose he loves that other girl, Kagome was it, more than you."_

_"That's not true." My voice was calm, but I couldn't hide the shadow of doubt from my eyes. Maybe he did care about her more than me._

_Naraku saw my uncertainty and smiled. "See, you know I was right," He taunted, "You know that..."_

_"Shut up," i stood up slowly, hatred flashing in my eyes, "Shut up, that's not true." For the first time, I noticed fear in my enemy's eyes. He knew he had driven me too far. I took the bow off of my back and, brushing the snow off of the smooth, cold wood, aimed it at his heart._

_"You'll never be able to kill me with that scrap of wood!" Naraku laughed as he took in my appearance, "You know I could kill you as easily as I could snap a twig if I wanted."_

_I fired, and as the arrow sank deep into his chest, I knew that Inuyasha couldn't, and wouldn't, come back for me now. He had abandoned me, left me alone with Death at my feet, but despite this I couldn't bring myself to hate him._

_I strung my bow again and waited for Naraku to get up. I would fight until the end._

**And if I sleep just to think of you**

**I'll wake without you there**

I jerked slowly out of my newly resurfaced memories and glanced back over at the two brothers. Inuyasha's sword had grown in size and I realized the reason my Lord was so afraid. The weapon the boy was holding was no longer a toy. It was a threat. Lord Sesshomaru wouldn't have such an easy time defeating his younger brother. I shivered, though not from the cold. I was worried for both of them.

"My Lord!" I called out softly, but he ignored me completely. All his attention was focused on Inuyasha. I looked at both of them. Their eyes and swords were both locked in a tight embrace and I suddenly realized that, though they were both fighting for my affection, neither of them knew or cared where I was.

**Isn't something missing?**

**Isn't something...**

* * *

So you guys like it? I finished the last one too but since I am so evil, I shall not tell you what will happen! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! i think I shall make you wait a few weeks, or maybe even set a number of reviews before I put it out... or is that too mean? Anyway, keep commenting! 


	4. Chapter 4

WOOT Last chapter! Would've posted it sooner but I was gone for the whole summer...

Anyway hope you like it, whoever's still reading...

* * *

Suddenly the world became clearer. I understood that though both men were fighting for my affection, their love was lost in the heat of battle. I was merely a reason for them to fight this long lost battle. Were all men as fickle as this? I sighed and closed my eyes. Did either of them really love me?

A sudden scream me aroused me from my muddled thoughts and I looked up. My Lord was grinning triumphantly and Inuyasha was clutching his arm, crimson pouring out of the gash on his biceps. I gasped. This was reality.

"No!" I called out instinctively, "Stop!" But neither of them heard me. They were to busy glaring at each other. Inuyasha had risen and, though his face was twisted with agony, his eyes were as resolute as ever. I knew that if I didn't stop them, they would fight to the end.

As I watched, helpless, Inuyasha slashed my Lord across the face, making him wince in pain. I ran towards them. I wouldn't allow this to go on any longer.

**Even though I'm the sacrifice**

**You won't cry for me, not now**

"Please, stop fighting. Stop it!" I cried, my voice thick with fear for both their lives and my face dotted with countless of tears, but neither of them listened, to intent on killing each other.

I tried once more to stop them but it was no use. I sunk dejected, onto the snowy ground, my heart aching at the thought that on of them would die for me. Suddenly, I felt a shadow pass over me and saw a sword, gleaming under the sun, slash threw the air above. And then there was the blinding pain. I heard screams, and it took me a second to realize they were my own. The clashing of swords stopped and I could hear a deadly silence creep over the world. I looked down at the ground. The snowy wonderland had been shattered by crimson, my blood. Under the clearity of it all I could finally remember. I knew what Inuyasha was to me and that I had loved him.

Suddenly both Inuyasha and my Lord were kneeling by my side. "Kikyo," Inuyasha whispered. His face was moist with tears and blood.

"Inuyasha, you finally came." I smiled weakly.

"You remember? You finally remember?" Inuyasha's voice was desperate, searching.

I nodded and his face split into a wide smile. "Come with me then," he urged, "Kagome and the others are waiting. You'll be in good hands."

He smiled and offered his hand and I accepted, feeling the same warm familar feeling that I felt around him long ago.

"Oh Kikyo, I thought I lost you forever!" Inuyasha's voice was thick with emotion, "But finally, finally I've gotten you back!"

I look at his merry face and shook my head slowly and his face scrunched up. "No, that's not true." I whispered.

"What do you mean?" He asked, and then his face cleared, comprehending. "I know you've changed now, Kikyo," he said lovingly, "but that doesn't matter. I've gotten you back at last. Come with me, darling, forever."

He picked me up and started carrying me away, but not before I caught a glimpse of my Lord's face, which was filled with despair. "No, put me down!" My voice sounded loud in the abandoned courtyard.

Inuyasha looked suprised. "But you said that you would leave my brother and come with me!"

I shook my head. "Put me down."

He looked confused but did as he was told. "Why aren't you coming with me?" he asked, "Why do you insist on staying with this tratorous brother of mine?"

"Oh, darling," I stroked his cheek tenderly. "You have Kagome with you. We both know that you love her more than you love me."

"But..."

I silenced him with a finger. "You can't have more than one girl at once. You're bound to forget me like that one day two years ago. It was your brother who rescued me, and he's been loving to me ever since. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think either one of us wants to be abandoned again."

"But Kikyo!" Inuyasha tried in one last desperate attempt, "You know that Sesshomaru has been posioning you with that wine he makes you drink so that you would forget your memories?"

"I know, darling," I said, noting the suprise in my Lord's face, "I've known ever since I stopped drinking and started remembering. Hush now, and give me a kiss. I don't love you anymore."

Inuyasha hesitated but he didn't protest. His mouth lingered on my cheek a moment more than neccessary, and then he walked away, leaving only his footprints and my bittersweet memories behind.

**Though I'd die to know you loved me**

**I'm all alone**

My Lord gazed at me curiously as I lay there. "Why did you stay with me if you knew I did all those horrible things to you?" he asked softly.

I looked at him, debating whether to tell him the real reason behind staying here, but I decided against it. Instead I kissed him tenderly. "Love knows no boundaries, love," I whispered, "Now let's go inside, shall we?"

I sighed softly as my Lord carried me tenderly inside. The pain from my wounds was subsiding and I smiled as a soft warm feeling washed over me. I knew that in a day or two all these memories I had of today and other days would be gone, replaced by the innocent bliss of ignorance, but maybe it was better this way. This way, I could forget all about you and let you live your peaceful life with Kagome with out me. After all, I would just be a burden. Maybe one day, when we're all old, we will meet on the street and you would realize that, even though I chose him over you, my love for you will have grown no less. But because that is unlikely, I will have to contend myself, even if it's only for a few more minutes, with my memories.

"Kikyo," My Lord was speaking.

"Hmm?" I smiled drowsily up at him.

"After we get your wounds cleaned up, why don't we have a cup of red wine in front of the fire?"

"Yes, that would be nice."

I closed my eyes, feeling my Lord's heart beat against my ear. It was a soothing sound, one that reminded me of you.

_Before I lose all my memories again, Inuyasha darling, I want to tell you one thing. I love you._

And as we reach my prison and sanctuary, I smile softly to myself. Snuggling deeper into my Lord's chest, I whispered, "I love you."

Sesshomaru smiled down at me, and his voice carried into the sky, whispering of love and care.

"Kikyo darling, I love you too."

**Isn't someone missing me?**


End file.
